Enjoying the Holidays with Hearing Loss - 50 Years of Lessons Learned
- Ruth Bernstein
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
Sound Advice by Ruth D. Bernstein
I love Thanksgiving! I learned about the holiday in grade
school, when I was a World War II Jewish refugee. The
older I got, the more I appreciated the concept of religious freedom, copious amounts of food and the Thanksgiving Day Parade, which I watched with my four children from my parents' in-laws’ apartment windows on 72nd St. and Central Park West.
When they got old enough, we watched on street level in front of the building. The children grew up and the grandchildren enjoyed the parade from my accountant's office windows on 40th St. and Seventh Avenue and on street level. Shaking hands with the clowns and other marchers is always a thrill for every generation. I'm looking forward to the time when my six great-grandchildren will see the parade in person.
Lessons Learned
I was in my 40s when my genetic hearing loss was diagnosed, and I started my journey of learning to cope with this invisible disability. With the holiday season approaching—and the many difficult listening situations it brings—here are some of the things I've learned over these 50 years.
#1 Be Positive
Start with a positive attitude. You will find if you are willing to take responsibility for yourself, be flexible and make arrangements that will allow you to hear as well and comfortably as possible, you will enjoy events more. Try to keep your sense of humor and remember that, as frustrating as a situation may be, it is only a tiny portion of your life.
#2 Practice Self-Care
If you can, limit the amount of time you spend in noisy places. Come early or late when fewer people are likely to be in a room. Leave when you feel exhausted and plan for quiet rest and recovery time after the event. One of my favorite lines is, "Make sure you can see the whites of my eyes when you talk to me.” That is a much more specific and effective request than “face me when you speak.”
#3 Situate Yourself Well
At a dinner party, ask to be seated where you will be able to participate in the conversation. Have someone sit next to you who can clue you in on what is being said. Try to sit with your back against a wall, which will act as a buffer for sound.
#4 Embrace Tech
Use assistive devices, whenever possible. I have a portable microphone. When I approach someone, I say, “You're on CNN,” and explain what the mic does. People are intrigued by the idea they can use the mic to talk to me.
#5 Take Breaks
Find a quiet area for a conversation. You can also use it to rest your brain because it works 10 times harder than normal when you are trying to hear in noise. I sometimes hide out in a bathroom for 5 to 10 minutes or take a short walk outside, either by myself or with a guest.
A Thanksgiving Gift
Remember, your attitude makes a difference. This quote by Padma Lakshmi is my Thanksgiving gift to you.
“My grandfather told me “Whenever you go to sleep, I want you to feel like you did something good today.” You have control over what you accomplish. You don’t always have control over what happens to you, but you have control over how you react.”
Have a happy holiday and enjoy everything you do.
Ruth D. Bernstein Hearing Access Ambassador
Contact Ruth using our Ask the Experts form to share your holiday hearing and communication tips.